Following the collapse of the BBC’s attempts to find alternative producers and funding for the once popular Dr Who, many artefacts of the series remain surplus to requirements, and in an effort to seek some measure of reimbursement new uses for them have been sought. One of the most endearing elements of the series were the Daleks™, and they have been particularly targetted by the setting up of a Dalek Enterprise Board.
Some of these loveable tin-heads have already found employment with the DynaRod™ Company, where their built-in plungers have proved wildly successful in the pipe-deblockageing department. Julian Fflangely-Makepiece of their Personnel department stated: “They are always just raring to go. Give them a really filthy piece of pipe and they’re as happy as pigs in muck.”
Trinity House has also deployed some of the Kaled pepperpots as channel buoys on various waterways. Their spokesman reported: “Some of the sailors can find them a little off-putting when they come into port after a night on the grog, but boy do they stay on course when these buoy-boys wave their egg-whisk stick thingies at them! I actually think they look really cute bobbing about like that.”
The Ministry of Transport is looking into using them as emergency traffic bollards. They already have a pilot scheme in operation in Glasgow, where it is common for drunken drivers to demolish the conventional bollards of a Saturday night. They have already found some success: the Daleks take avoiding action - although clearing up the burnt wreckage on a Sunday morning is a bit of a chore.
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